Pakistan Today, Monday, 7 Feb 2011
The first question that popped into my mind the minute I heard that nearly all of Egypt was under curfew was, quite literally, "Where's Rehman Malik?"
Indeed, events that have been unfolding in the valley of the Nile as of late seem to indicate that the people with an ancient tradition of being subjugated and tyrannised by annoyingly longevous pharaohs have grown weary of King Ramses Hosni Mubarak XVI the third. Given that these are the same people who curse mummies tombs with eternal death and damnation while also finding the time to blow up their presidents with tanks during military parades, I wouldnt like to be the one getting on their wrong side.
With over 7,000 years of history, the Egyptians have a lot to fight for. By doing away with abstract and irrelevant constructs such as law and order and general sanity, Egyptian mobs have managed to cause considerable harm to the profession of Egyptology during the course of the past week. This includes a break-in at the Cairo Museum, during which a statue of King Tutankhamun riding a jaguar was broken. Unfortunately, however, the villain responsible was mauled shortly afterwards by an angry tourist, proving true the theory that bad things happen to people who mess with King Tuts stuff.
However, there is more to Egypt than just the pyramids. On the international political front, Egypt has been a pretender to the throne of the Arab World for more than half a century now. President Mubarak, who has been pharaoh for over 30 years, is expected to abdicate. But the old dog isn't going without a fight. Even if it means ordering multi-million dollar air superiority combat fighter aircraft to fly low to intimidate the crowds that have been coming out of the woodwork to join the protests.The US, for better or worse, is on the Mubarak bandwagon at the moment, and both Big Cheiftain Obama and Frau Clinton have not yet asked the senile bugger to leave, nicely or otherwise. But they have asked him to let democracy take its course. In the words of an inimitable local TV personality, "Kya yeh khula tezad nahin?"
But the biggest shock of the whole episode does not come from this side of the Suez Canal. On its Eastern frontier, the Hamas-led government of Gaza and the West Bank has closed its tunnel-infested border with the ancient kingdom. Given that Egypt is the glorified life-line for this region, when an embattled state like Palestine closes its doors on such a neighbor you know the Sphinx has really hit the fan, euphemistically speaking.
On paper, it looks like a one-sided affair. Mubarak has rigged more elections during three decades of virtual autocracy than Saddam Hussein ever dreamed of. In all this time, the US has played the piper for the snake king of Egypt, lending a helping hand whenever required. After all, Misr is the fabled second largest recipient of US aid (after Israel, of course). But now it seems the cowboys have met their match. Mohammad El Baradei has all the necessary credentials to stage a coup de grace. He's a Nobel laureate and former head of the global atomic watchdog, the IAEA. Someone with extremely bad taste might even say that he is well qualified to deal with such explosive situations, but you won't find such bland toilet humour in this space. However, what is inescapable is the parallel between the recent rise of the Right here in Pakistan (ala Maulana High-Speed Diesel and his cohorts) and rise of the Muslim Brotherhood in Misr. Is Right the only way to go? We certainly haven't decided yet, and I don't think Egypt should either. With six hitherto unsuccessful assassination attempts under his belt, the current Egyptian president looks like he hopes to ride off into the sunset with yet another bunch of cronies by his side. And its not like Egypt is a particularly dangerous place either.
Not like Pakistan. In fact, Egypt is so unlike Pakistan in its lawlessness that one Sarah A. Topol of The New Republic even found time to be surprised by how peaceful the blood, guts and tear gas protests in Tahrir Square were when compared to the gauntlets waged outside press clubs across Pakistan each day. But Grand Vizer Gilani isn't worried. Pakistan is not Tunisia or Egypt, he proudly proclaimed a couple of days ago. And hes right, its so much worse, there is just no comparison. What I'm trying to say is that while we can sit and drawn parallels and debate the Pakistan-Egypt connection until were all blue in the face, the fact of the matter is this: Egypt keeps its mummies where they belong, whereas in Pakistan, we canonise and then elevate our fossils to parliament. At the risk of sounding repetitive, I ask again, Kya yeh khula tezad nahin?I hope someone answers that question soon.
The first question that popped into my mind the minute I heard that nearly all of Egypt was under curfew was, quite literally, "Where's Rehman Malik?"
Indeed, events that have been unfolding in the valley of the Nile as of late seem to indicate that the people with an ancient tradition of being subjugated and tyrannised by annoyingly longevous pharaohs have grown weary of King Ramses Hosni Mubarak XVI the third. Given that these are the same people who curse mummies tombs with eternal death and damnation while also finding the time to blow up their presidents with tanks during military parades, I wouldnt like to be the one getting on their wrong side.
With over 7,000 years of history, the Egyptians have a lot to fight for. By doing away with abstract and irrelevant constructs such as law and order and general sanity, Egyptian mobs have managed to cause considerable harm to the profession of Egyptology during the course of the past week. This includes a break-in at the Cairo Museum, during which a statue of King Tutankhamun riding a jaguar was broken. Unfortunately, however, the villain responsible was mauled shortly afterwards by an angry tourist, proving true the theory that bad things happen to people who mess with King Tuts stuff.
However, there is more to Egypt than just the pyramids. On the international political front, Egypt has been a pretender to the throne of the Arab World for more than half a century now. President Mubarak, who has been pharaoh for over 30 years, is expected to abdicate. But the old dog isn't going without a fight. Even if it means ordering multi-million dollar air superiority combat fighter aircraft to fly low to intimidate the crowds that have been coming out of the woodwork to join the protests.The US, for better or worse, is on the Mubarak bandwagon at the moment, and both Big Cheiftain Obama and Frau Clinton have not yet asked the senile bugger to leave, nicely or otherwise. But they have asked him to let democracy take its course. In the words of an inimitable local TV personality, "Kya yeh khula tezad nahin?"
But the biggest shock of the whole episode does not come from this side of the Suez Canal. On its Eastern frontier, the Hamas-led government of Gaza and the West Bank has closed its tunnel-infested border with the ancient kingdom. Given that Egypt is the glorified life-line for this region, when an embattled state like Palestine closes its doors on such a neighbor you know the Sphinx has really hit the fan, euphemistically speaking.
On paper, it looks like a one-sided affair. Mubarak has rigged more elections during three decades of virtual autocracy than Saddam Hussein ever dreamed of. In all this time, the US has played the piper for the snake king of Egypt, lending a helping hand whenever required. After all, Misr is the fabled second largest recipient of US aid (after Israel, of course). But now it seems the cowboys have met their match. Mohammad El Baradei has all the necessary credentials to stage a coup de grace. He's a Nobel laureate and former head of the global atomic watchdog, the IAEA. Someone with extremely bad taste might even say that he is well qualified to deal with such explosive situations, but you won't find such bland toilet humour in this space. However, what is inescapable is the parallel between the recent rise of the Right here in Pakistan (ala Maulana High-Speed Diesel and his cohorts) and rise of the Muslim Brotherhood in Misr. Is Right the only way to go? We certainly haven't decided yet, and I don't think Egypt should either. With six hitherto unsuccessful assassination attempts under his belt, the current Egyptian president looks like he hopes to ride off into the sunset with yet another bunch of cronies by his side. And its not like Egypt is a particularly dangerous place either.
Not like Pakistan. In fact, Egypt is so unlike Pakistan in its lawlessness that one Sarah A. Topol of The New Republic even found time to be surprised by how peaceful the blood, guts and tear gas protests in Tahrir Square were when compared to the gauntlets waged outside press clubs across Pakistan each day. But Grand Vizer Gilani isn't worried. Pakistan is not Tunisia or Egypt, he proudly proclaimed a couple of days ago. And hes right, its so much worse, there is just no comparison. What I'm trying to say is that while we can sit and drawn parallels and debate the Pakistan-Egypt connection until were all blue in the face, the fact of the matter is this: Egypt keeps its mummies where they belong, whereas in Pakistan, we canonise and then elevate our fossils to parliament. At the risk of sounding repetitive, I ask again, Kya yeh khula tezad nahin?I hope someone answers that question soon.
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